i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
