stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
