i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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