We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
