did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
