and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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