would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
