i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
