Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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