I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
