Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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