why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
