I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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