david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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