Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
