if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize