those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
