I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
