The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
