Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
