YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
