im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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