Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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