what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
