If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This toilet bowl is my home.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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