yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize