this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
