Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
