i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
