I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
