I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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