the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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