How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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