I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
