she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
