Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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