He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Sext me about skeletons
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
