those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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