i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
