She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
