I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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