Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
