to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
