I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
