I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
