As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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