SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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