He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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