I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize