I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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