is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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