I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
do herpes really smell.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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