Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
