Already got asked if we're dating
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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