I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We talked him into tasing himself.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
