Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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