Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
