You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
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we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Couch. On fire.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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