the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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