why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
