; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
only if we run a train.
done.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
