you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
