Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
